Wednesday, November 30, 2011

If thou must love me

by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

If thou must love me, let it be for nought  
Except for love's sake only. Do not say,  
"I love her for her smile—her look—her way  
Of speaking gently,—for a trick of thought  
That falls in well with mine, and certes brought
A sense of pleasant ease on such a day"—  
For these things in themselves, Belovèd, may  
Be changed, or change for thee—and love, so wrought,  
May be unwrought so. Neither love me for  
Thine own dear pity's wiping my cheeks dry:
A creature might forget to weep, who bore  
Thy comfort long, and lose thy love thereby!  
But love me for love's sake, that evermore  
Thou mayst love on, through love's eternity.

Monday, November 28, 2011

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, --- I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Our Story

by Ludwig Cruz


It’s 1215 am on January 16th, 2010 and I’m writing to tell you of what today is. See 365 days ago, I found myself in a peculiar situation, one, that I had never been in before and that I will never be in again. I found myself in this juxtaposition where my life has brought me and where my hopes never dared to go. Today is the anniversary of the act of me rounding up courage, stumbling through words and holding back tears to ask Solange to be my girlfriend. It was just a few days prior, that a Happy New Year’s wish became my lifelong dream. And so today, at the stroke of midnight, as I lay in bed next to my fiancee, I tell you the story of Our Forever.

I met Solange about 5 years ago at work. I had caught a glimpse of her through the window of a door as I walked through a hallway, and quickly thought of visiting someone (anyone) that worked in that area. After making that sharp right and in through that doorway, I made small talk with those around her who then introduced her to me. As she turned, (don’t laugh) everything slowed down: like a dramatic scene in a movie, and I remember thinking WOW. I must say I did a pretty good job at lip syncing, ‘wow’ and making it sound like ‘nice, to meet you’. She stood there in her pony tail, long sleeve black shirt and tan pants- she was beautiful. In that brief moment, I went to heaven: her eyes, her smile, her laughter, her touch, her kiss and then I thought - this girl would never be interested in me and quickly, I came back down to earth and almost whimpered back out of the room.

Fast forward to December 30th, 2008: I receive a mass email of happy new years’ wishes that I truly had no time to read, but something caught my eye. Solange was also on that list. I contemplated emailing her separately to tell her how great it was seeing her name, thinking of that first time I saw her and wondering how I should word that she needed to run away with me. Well, that was a shorter trip down to earth, and so, I emailed her “Hey remember me, how are you?” For the next few days, we emailed each other back and forth and we learned a lot about each other. Each line in each email was engraved by our characters and each word was as genuine as the love that they began to nourish.

By February, a peace had settled in my heart, a knowing that I wanted Solange to be in my life forever. The months that followed have been the happiest in my life. I’ve met the incredible people in her life such as her family and friends. And I wake up each morning to think that today, too. I am in my heaven.

On December 20th, 2009, we entered a church. No one was inside, no candles were lit, and no lights were on. Only the sunlight piercing through the stained glass windows lit our way. And as we walked through, I told Solange how ironic my life has been. Ironic that after deciding not to continue into the priesthood, I find myself in front of an altar for one reason. To marry the woman that I could have never dreamed of - because I could’ve never imagined what heaven was like until I found her.

On August 29,2010, just 224 days from today we will marry in that same church and thus, begin Our Forever.

Our Wedding

St. Paul's Roman Catholic Church
231 Second Street
Clifton, NJ 07011
August 29, 2010
3 p.m. ceremony

Our Reception

The Palace at Somerset Park
333 Davidson Avenue
Somerset, NJ 08873
August 29, 2010
6 p.m. cocktail hour
7 p.m. reception


Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Confession: I Just Dumped My Lover

From: True Confessions

Leaving your lover is extremely difficult. Especially when the relationship has reached heights it never was even supposed to attempt. In the beginning of all relationships women always start out with the upper hand, only because it is SHE who is being pursued, convinced, wooed, and persuaded. In my case after months of courtship, gifts, surprises and relentless persistence I gave in. Only because I wanted to be spoiled and he was the man who wanted to do it. To be completely honest I wasn't even attracted to him at first, he wasn't even my type. Usually I go for the rougher kind, the one who acts like he doesn't care from the start. He was different he wanted to really know me and not just my body or so I thought.

I knew I was in for some trouble the first time we were intimate, he's hands down the most fantastic lover I've ever experienced in all my 25 years in this world. I used to keep these big ass bottles of lubricate around but while I was with this man I threw all those bottles away. There was no need. He stimulated me above and beyond what I thought possible, our love making sessions were full of giving and receiving..and I was on the receiving end. He was kind and caring, sincere and giving, warm and affectionate and all mine..except for his girlfriend, but I didn't care at the time. The relationship wasn't supposed to go farther than his objective which was Contributing To Your Happiness. Now that's one hell of a line, if I may say so myself. And I bought it hook line and sinker. You can't blame me, an expert lover, giving affectionately and financially, sincere and always there for me, any girl would fall in love. And this one did.

But that was months ago..our relationship has since degenerated to the point of non existence. The reason for this is that hiding under the warm and sincere man that I had come to care about and even love was this selfish, self-pitying, emotionally crippled man..I had no fucking idea! The facade was that thick! I look back now and see the signs that all of those attributes were there from the start but glossed over so much that I was completely blindsided and couldn't see them. Well they are all exposed now and one thing I cannot stand is a man that would rather whine and mope about what he doesn't have and can't seem to get instead of realizing what's right in front of him and what he's about to lose. In my case lost.

It's over now and I feel so good. Only because I've been do depressed recently with the knowledge that I needed to leave him and physically not being capable to. Finally I got up the strength and resolve to do it and I told him that I couldn't deal with his bullshit anymore and that I hope we can be friends. I don't really think that's possible but don't we all like to the can't we just be friends line? It cushions the blow and makes leaving all the more easier, especially for the dumper.

Oh I forgot to mention that this break up happened only a week ago. Pray that I can really last without him.

Monday, November 21, 2011

A First Kiss?

by moonlight requiem

I remember my first kiss .

It was clumsy and awkward, but we were both 13 and this was sort of our first time doing anything of the sort. At 13, I was geeky and short but somehow, this guy actually liked me. He was my cousin's best friend, could play the guitar and quote Star Wars. Oh yeah, that was the kind of guy I liked.

My first kiss was in a stairwell. Our classrooms were along a long corridor on the ground floor of the school, and there were staircases at either end for students to access the upper floors, faster. They were somewhat deserted, people usually preferred using the main staircase. I remember asking him to walk me to the science lab and as soon as we got to a somewhat quiet area, I took a step towards him.

There was nervousness, hesitation. I'd read a lot of romance novels by this point in my life, and I wondered if I would see fireworks, or hear bells ringing, or something like that. But I moved in, and so did he and we kissed. My teeth bumped against his, and his lips nicked my lower lip a little but I felt him smile into the kiss. We pulled away after that, it wasn't anything more than a peck. He held my hand and we walked upstairs.

That's my first kiss.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Maybe it left you stronger...

by The Girl Next Door

Have you ever had a time when you met someone from your past? Someone whom you always wished you would see but hardly did and when you least expect it, they re-appear again in your life? At that moment, you just freeze not knowing what to do. You feel lost, just losing it all. And that person is looking all normal, like nothing has ever happened. You feel so weak but you know deep in your heart, never will you let yourself go back to the past; the past which you have always wanted to erase.
You thought they left, that they were gone;
And then they suddenly appear after so long.
You feel paralysed; don’t know what to do,
Standing there speechless worst than a fool.

Weakness gets to you but you stand strong,
History is where they should belong.
You start to ponder and wonder why;
Why they still come back when they meant goodbye.

Their presence so obvious, you just can’t avoid;
This person who once had your heart spoilt.
You appear normal, cheerful as ever,
But in your heart, never so miserable.

You want to scream, you want to shout
This person’s feelings you no longer doubt.
It’s all over and you’ve had enough,
You just got to show them that you’re tough.

They act so normal like nothing is wrong,
Leaving you and coming back after so long.
Why can’t they see, why can’t they tell;
It was because of them, our world once fell.

No more chances they will get,
All the memories you wish to forget.
So what if again you’ll meet,
Now you know your heart’s strong enough to defeat.

Walking forward, Turning back,

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Poor Little Fool

Poor Little Fool
Ricky Nelson

I used to play around with hearts that hastened at my call,
But when I met that little girl I knew that I would fall.

(chorus)
Poor little fool, oh yeah, I was a fool, uh huh..

She played around and teased me with her carefree devil eyes,
She'd hold me close and kiss me but her heart was full of lies.

(chorus)

She told me how she cared for me and that we'd never part,
And so for the very first time I gave away my heart.

(chorus)

The next day she was gone and I knew she'd lied to me,
She left me with a broken heart and won her victory.

(chorus)

I'd played this game with other hearts but I never thought I'd see,
The day that someone else would play love's foolish game with me.

(chorus)

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Glimpses of the past

I was working with his father, a very good man who took care of me and my friends as we went thru high school.  He was aloof but my friends told me that they catch him looking at me.  It made me feel conscious and it was my younger sister who made it obvious that we were attracted to each other.

Never would I forget my youth: my desire to be together, to talk to each other, to let go of how I feel hoping that somehow, he feels the same way.

There are times that I was conscious of his eyes on me.  I would pretend not to notice, giving out a smile as if to acknowledge that I know what was in his mind.