From: True Confessions
Leaving your lover is extremely difficult. Especially when the relationship has reached heights it never was even supposed to attempt. In the beginning of all relationships women always start out with the upper hand, only because it is SHE who is being pursued, convinced, wooed, and persuaded. In my case after months of courtship, gifts, surprises and relentless persistence I gave in. Only because I wanted to be spoiled and he was the man who wanted to do it. To be completely honest I wasn't even attracted to him at first, he wasn't even my type. Usually I go for the rougher kind, the one who acts like he doesn't care from the start. He was different he wanted to really know me and not just my body or so I thought.
I knew I was in for some trouble the first time we were intimate, he's hands down the most fantastic lover I've ever experienced in all my 25 years in this world. I used to keep these big ass bottles of lubricate around but while I was with this man I threw all those bottles away. There was no need. He stimulated me above and beyond what I thought possible, our love making sessions were full of giving and receiving..and I was on the receiving end. He was kind and caring, sincere and giving, warm and affectionate and all mine..except for his girlfriend, but I didn't care at the time. The relationship wasn't supposed to go farther than his objective which was Contributing To Your Happiness. Now that's one hell of a line, if I may say so myself. And I bought it hook line and sinker. You can't blame me, an expert lover, giving affectionately and financially, sincere and always there for me, any girl would fall in love. And this one did.
But that was months ago..our relationship has since degenerated to the point of non existence. The reason for this is that hiding under the warm and sincere man that I had come to care about and even love was this selfish, self-pitying, emotionally crippled man..I had no fucking idea! The facade was that thick! I look back now and see the signs that all of those attributes were there from the start but glossed over so much that I was completely blindsided and couldn't see them. Well they are all exposed now and one thing I cannot stand is a man that would rather whine and mope about what he doesn't have and can't seem to get instead of realizing what's right in front of him and what he's about to lose. In my case lost.
It's over now and I feel so good. Only because I've been do depressed recently with the knowledge that I needed to leave him and physically not being capable to. Finally I got up the strength and resolve to do it and I told him that I couldn't deal with his bullshit anymore and that I hope we can be friends. I don't really think that's possible but don't we all like to the can't we just be friends line? It cushions the blow and makes leaving all the more easier, especially for the dumper.
Oh I forgot to mention that this break up happened only a week ago. Pray that I can really last without him.
I like love stories and that is what this blog is all about. "We all want to fall in love. Why? Because that experience makes us feel completely alive. Where every sense is heightened, every emotion is magnified, our everyday reality is shattered and we are flying into the heavens. It may only last a moment, an hour, an afternoon. But that doesn't diminish its value. Because we are left with memories that we treasure for the rest of our lives."
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